Mental Health Awareness Month – Let’s Talk

“Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion.”
— Bell Hooks

Healing is not just a physical process; it’s emotional, psychological, spiritual, and relational. People heal from a wide spectrum of experiences—some visible, many invisible.

Some of these include: trauma, domestic violence, aging, racism, narcissistic partners and parents, homophobia, sexism, car accidents, sexual assault, religious persecution, the death of a loved one, miscarriage, divorce, the loss of a pet, job, or home, witnessing violence, betrayal, abandonment, depression, PTSD, addiction, eating disorders, rejection, shame, guilt, low self-worth, cultural erasure, generational trauma, chronic illness, disability, body image struggles, surgery, estrangement, becoming a parent, retirement, relocation, codependency, parentification, incarceration, institutionalization—and the list goes on.

So you see, we are all healing from something. None of us is exempt.

Everyone’s healing journey looks a bit different, but let’s be honest: some people aren’t healing at all. They’re surviving. Performing. Dodging their pain like it’s contagious, like naming the wound might make it real. For some, acknowledging that anything ever happened – whether it stemmed from toxic relationships, narcissistic abuse, family dysfunction, or personal betrayals – evades them like a plague. They smile on cue, keep it moving, play the part—unbothered, unshaken, “healed,” so they say. But beneath the surface is a war they refuse to fight. Others stay buried under the covers, waiting for the bleeding to stop, hoping time will do what courage won’t. And once the scab looks decent, they peek out just long enough to ask the world, Is it safe to be seen yet?

Avoiding the work doesn’t erase the wound. It just buries it alive. And buried pain doesn’t die. It festers. It numbs. It rewires the soul. It transforms into:

Silence.

Rage.

Trust Issues.

Hyper-independence.
People-pleasing.
Emotional reactivity.

Self-doubt.

Feelings of worthlessness.
Withdrawal.
Chronic Illness.

Struggles with intimacy.
Addiction.
Overachievement.
Shame that masquerades as strength.

Anxiety.

Depression.
Grief with nowhere to go.

Unhealed pain doesn’t vanish; it repositions itself. Until we name it, feel it, and move through it, it controls us from the shadows.

“The essence of trauma is disconnection from the self. And the healing is reconnection with the self.” — Dr. Gabor Maté

Acknowledging the Hurt

I find that the most challenging aspect for many is recognizing the wound. None of us wants to face the uncomfortable pain that broke us. But true healing from anything requires radical acknowledgement, grieving what was lost, unlearning what kept us stuck, reclaiming our agency, and relearning how to feel safe again—in our bodies, in our relationships, and in the world.

Hiding the wound won’t heal you, but having the courage to unmask what hurts is profound, layered, and deeply personal. From experience, I know the journey toward wholeness and recovery isn’t linear. It often feels like peeling back layers of a complex emotional landscape. Reclaiming your peace, power, and resilience will feel terrifying at times, brave at others. Both are part of the becoming.

Stop performing. Start confronting. So it doesn’t keep breaking you in silence.

The Root of the Wound

This is where the process gets sticky. After acknowledging our pain, the next step is to understand its origin. When I decided to commit to my healing, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go that deep—most people don’t. But I was certain that I needed to know what caused these emotional scars. For some, it’s childhood trauma, a pattern of toxic relationships, narcissistic abuse, abandonment, or physical abuse. For others, the wounds come from societal pressure or cultural trauma. Either way, the pain has a root. And healing means tracing it back, not to stay there, but to stop it from growing in the dark.

Understanding the roots of our wounds helps us make sense of the hurt. It keeps us from swallowing the pain as proof that something’s wrong with us. It’s essential to remember: the abuse we endured, the toxic patterns we survived—that was never our fault. Naming the source doesn’t excuse the harm, but it frees us from carrying the blame. It gives us back the pen. Because healing doesn’t begin with their behavior. It begins with our decision to RISE.

Opening Heart “Surgery”

In my honest opinion, giving yourself permission to heal is the most critical step on this journey. Healing requires vulnerability. And if you’re someone who stays guarded or closed off—whether to others or to yourself—that’s where the work begins.

Vulnerability is often mistaken for weakness, but in truth, it’s a radical act of strength. It means tearing down the walls. It means facing what hurts. It means opening up to ourselves, letting grief move through us, and sometimes, speaking our truth out loud for the first time. I know some people may never choose this path—but I still encourage it. It’s the finest and bravest form of liberation I know.

Healing is a lot like open-heart surgery. You don’t go through it without being cut open, without feeling exposed. It’s invasive. It’s tender. But it’s necessary. To truly heal, we have to confront the emotions we’ve buried—the ones we’ve masked, numbed, and silenced—and give ourselves the space to finally feel them.

That might look like:

• Journaling what we’ve held inside
• Talking to trusted friends
• Speaking with a therapist or support professional
• Expressing through creative outlets like art, music, or movement

Reclaiming the Joy

There is no such thing as perfection. But there is purpose—and there is permission. Your own. To speak. To release. To grow. To glow.

As we heal, joy begins to return, not the fleeting kind we once chased, but something deeper. A quiet joy rooted in peace, fulfillment, and truth. It’s the kind that doesn’t ask us to perform or pretend. It simply allows us to be, fully, freely, and without apology.

Reclaiming joy means rediscovering what makes us feel alive and whole, without the weight of old wounds. It’s in the small, sacred moments: like listening to the wind (as I often do), picking up forgotten hobbies, rewriting our story with power and intention, and building relationships that feel safe and nourishing. But above all, joy deepens through presence—through gratitude, mindfulness, and honoring the life that’s still ours to live.

Survivor State of Mind (because we’re not where we started—and we’re not going back.)

Destiny’s Child sang it best: “I’m a survivor, I’m not gonna give up, I’m not gonna stop, I’m gonna work harder… I’m gonna make it, I will survive, keep on survivin’.”

One of the most transformative parts of healing is shifting from a mindset of victimhood to one of power. When you’ve been through trauma, it’s easy to internalize the pain—to see yourself as broken or defined by the harm. But healing means rewriting that story. It’s reclaiming your voice. It’s recognizing the strength it took just to survive.

You are not what happened to you.
You are worthy of respect.
You are worthy of love.
You have the right to set boundaries—and enforce them.

This shift might look like:

• Acknowledging your pain, but no longer letting it run your life
• Saying: “This shaped me, but it doesn’t own me.”
• Celebrating small wins as acts of resistance and resilience
• Embracing new identities: healer, survivor, warrior, whole

You’re not just surviving anymore; you are becoming.

Protecting Your Peace

“Your peace is too expensive to be bought by guilt, manipulation, or obligation. Protect it like your life depends on it—because it does.” — Dr. Thema Bryant, licensed psychologist and trauma expert

At the beginning of my healing journey, I had to relearn what safety meant—emotionally, mentally, and physically. That meant setting boundaries and holding them. Even when it felt uncomfortable. Even when it disappointed people I loved. Even when it meant dealing with the emotional damage my spouse left behind.

After surviving toxic relationships with family, partners, and so-called friends, boundaries felt foreign, like a language I was never taught. The truth is: boundaries are not walls. They’re bridges back to ourselves. They are acts of self-respect. They protect our peace, preserve our energy, and remind us that we are not obligated to shrink for anyone.

And here’s the cold truth: at the end of the day, most people will do what’s best for them, not for you. So you owe it to yourself to do the same.

What helped me reclaim that peace:

• I identified my limits to understand what drained me, what triggered me, and what made me feel emotionally unsafe.
• I practiced saying “no” without apology or explanation.
• I enforced my boundaries with consistency.
• I reminded myself daily: I am allowed to take up space.
• Prayer and Meditation

Because eventually, I got tired of being tired.
Tired of being tested.
Tired of betraying myself to keep peace.

Now, I protect my peace like my life depends on it—because it does.

The Ongoing Journey

Please know this: healing is a long, hard road—sometimes it feels like there’s no finish line at all. It’s not a destination, but a constant unfolding, a process of growth, self-compassion, and reclaiming your power. Some days will feel lighter, others heavier. Setbacks? They will come.

Breathe through it.

Real healing happens when we stop hiding our scars and start owning them as proof—proof that we’ve walked through the fire and of how strong we really are.

Healing takes time. Please remember to:

• Be kind to yourself
• Distance yourself from narcissistic people; their emotional battles don’t belong to you
• Nurture connections that feel safe, reciprocal, and healthy
• Forgive yourself daily
• Celebrate small wins
• Acknowledge progress
• Engage with people who understand
• Trust your intuition – it’s your first honest responder
• Take care of your body, mind, and soul
• Surround yourself with people who respect you and practice emotional intelligence

Energy Work as Healing

Recently, I made another radical decision—the decision to move forward with energy work. As a mental health advocate and someone who speaks and writes from the body’s memory of pain and survival, I understand how deeply trauma embeds itself in the nervous system.

Energy work offers a nonverbal way to release what talk therapy can’t always reach. I am committed to integration, not just insight. I don’t just want to understand my patterns – I want to transform them. Energy work supports that by helping me align my emotional, physical, and spiritual self, offering clarity without forcing explanation.

I believe in the unseen—whether it’s the silence between words in a poem or the sacred pause in a breath. Energy work is an extension of that knowing—a way to listen inward without needing logic to lead. I’m reclaiming agency in my healing. After years of battling depression, engaging narcissistic entanglements, and peeling back layers of generational trauma, energy work is helping me trust my body to remember, release, and rise. This isn’t passive. It’s intentional. It’s liberation through presence.

Hillis Pugh is an author, teacher, trusted friend, speaker, holistic guide, and speaker of Gratitude and the Law of Vibration, and supporter of the Tuesday Morning Love platform since its inception sixteen years ago. His work isn’t about bypassing pain—it’s about meeting you exactly where you are: in truth, in the body, and in the spaces most people avoid. It’s not an escape from your healing. It is a return to it.

As one of the rare Sirian-Lemurian lineage teachers, he gently leads individuals on their sacred journey, offering insightful mentorship to perceive beyond the veil of the physical. Through this, he cultivates profound resonance with the soul essence through the luminous energies of Psychic Mediumship, Reiki, and Lemurian Light. His heartfelt intention is to illuminate your path, assuring you of your eternal connection. In shared universal harmony, we delve into your inner cosmos, allowing your authentic essence to radiate outwardly. A visionary rooted in deep introspection and spiritual transformation, Hillis has chosen gratitude as his compass, and he invites others to do the same.

Through his book Awaken With Gratitude, he shares channeled stories and original poetry that reveal how everyday moments can become portals to love, healing, and abundance. His words carry clairvoyant clarity, not just offering inspiration, but creating sacred space for readers to return to themselves. Shaped by his own lived experience and guided by the teachings of thought leaders like Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith, Neale Donald Walsch, and Esther Hicks, Hillis has become a voice of mindfulness, sensuality, and self-reflection. Whether as a creative, entrepreneur, or spiritual teacher, his life’s work centers on one truth: when we honor our gratitude, we unlock our power to transform. Hillis didn’t arrive here overnight—he walked through fire, surrendered to change, and chose joy on purpose. And now, he’s here to help you do the same. He is actively accepting new clients and can be contacted at Hillis@hillispugh.com

Yes—healing is a radical move.

In a world that often encourages us to numb, suppress, and ignore our pain—to keep performing, producing, and pretending like a puppet—we choose to heal. That choice defies the systems, cycles, and silences that benefit from our disconnection. Healing asks us to slow down, to feel deeply, to reclaim our worth, and to interrupt generational harm – because all bleeding must stop. Healing is active. Intentional. And deeply disruptive to everything that told us we had to stay broken to belong.

As Mental Health Awareness Month comes to a close on the calendar, the awareness doesn’t end here. Healing is not a one-time event. It is an ongoing, everyday choice. We’re all carrying something. Let’s keep making space for rest, reflection, and real conversations.

Keep choosing to heal. Keep choosing you. That is enough.

With gratitude, love, and light, I welcome you to heal with me.