This commentary has been modified from a commentary of September 14, 2010.
I chose the month of February to focus on the topic of love and relationships. Within our circles exist many different kinds of relationships. We have associations with our families, our peers, our companions, our jobs, and even our pets. And then there’s us – the most important of all our unions.
Similar to the way the clouds shift in the sky, my heart has traveled to more places than my feet could ever carry me. Of all the relationships I’ve experienced in this life, the one most astounding, most rewarding, and most fulfilling – has been the one I’ve come to develop with myself. Over the years I’ve had lots of conversations with different groups and ethnicities of people, and wherever I go in this world, I always seem to find someone who speaks the same language. I don’t, however, always expect to find someone who really understands me. This expectation also depends on the level of depth I tend to seek within that communication process. It’s easy to greet someone with a “Hello”, and get a reply; on the other hand, it’s not so easy to open yourself up to discuss deeply rooted feelings, strong needs, secret fears or troublesome memories.
Over the past year I’ve talked a lot about clarity. Clarity and communication go hand-in-hand. We find that communicating with others in life is necessary, but somehow and over time we discover that our own communications in the world are highly influenced by the certainty of our relationship with our own voice. When this reveals itself, a quiet confidence looms over us as it delivers a message of reassurance and truth. All the clouds that loom over our horizon have silver linings – not just the romantic or conventional ones that connect in general with items, situations and people that somehow define “who we are”, but the one most enriching will be the one that connects to the relationship we have with ourselves.
“Some relationships have to die so that others can live”; a profound quote of note from a dear friend and a statement I thought provoked much critical thinking. Often times we need to clarify the differences between the things or people we have relationships with that are good for our rebirth, growth, and development, with the things or people we have relationships with that are not. It’s funny how were so quick to believe people when they say derogatory, hurtful, or unkind things to or about us, and we discard all the times were told how truly amazing, beautiful, or intelligent we are. This usually happens because our sense of self doubt is stronger than our sense of self love. We must realize that the most important person isn’t the one who’s sitting beside us, but the one who’s in the mirror. Now I don’t say this to imply that we should disregard those significant folks in our lives, rather recognize that in order to genuinely care for others, we must first care for ourselves. And God’s love provides us with the tools and discernment to do so.
I find that there is wisdom and empowerment through self-love. Dealing with yourself, your challenges, your circumstances, loving yourself, are all what make you stronger – what make you the most noteworthy you. Through communicating and loving myself, I never feel as if I have to fill myself up with food, medication or alcohol, because I try to understand that the relief through this kind of empowerment can never come from someone else; it can only come from me. Through making a shift in my own physiology I trust and understand that I am indeed enough.
The coming clouds are so potentially positive. Stop, look and listen carefully to your inner voice. Trust yourself and value your worth. If you cannot modify your relationships with other people, you can certainly modify the relationship you have with yourself. After all, at the heart of the matter, all there is – is you.
Love for your Tuesday and month ahead.